Children are children. Being children entitles them to crying, and temper tantrums. But sometimes parenting gets overwhelming and you feel like being a child for just a few minutes too. Do not shout!
Shouting Matches don’t work
Have you ever been in a shouting match with your child? He screams and you scream back? Did your shouts change his behaviour or get him to obey you? Chances are that even if he obeyed you, the undesired behaviour would rear its ugly head again, because shouting doesn’t usually accomplish much. Is your house a constant cacophony of shouted conversations, loud sibling fights and little to no quiet moments? To get a few minutes of peace when you desire it, whisper.
When your child throws a tantrum, he is communicating a need. He may not have the words to say it clearly. And those words won’t come when he howls and you match him by shouting back. As soon as you shout back at your child, you have made yourself his peer and handed over some of your power as a parent. So don’t. Try whispering. Just say to your child that he cannot hear you over his shrieks and vice versa, and so you would like both of you to lower your voices. And then begin to whisper.
Whispering may work
When someone whispers, the natural response is to lean towards the person and try to hear. You automatically lower your voice too. The reverse happens when someone shouts at you. You instinctively want to out shout the person. That is why shouting at your child is a bad idea, and whispering is a better technique. You can even turn it into a game of little voices.As soon as tempers start to rise, just switch into a whisper and ask your child to join you in a little voice game. It may not work every time but it will sometimes bring an end to a tantrum, or a disagreement. This will enable you to help your little one work through his frustration, and maybe yours too. Even if you don’t work out your disagreement, at least no one will shout himself hoarse. And it’s far nicer to talk in lowered voices than to shout.